First off, I'd just like to say I'm sorry, I feel like I owe all parties involved a huge apology. My behaviour has been nothing short of unacceptable lately and I believe that's a very mild way of putting it. I never actually meant to make anyone uncomfortable but didn't stop to think about the harm my actions could cause oocly as well as ic. I should have, but I didn't. And I guess that's the point here. The truth is I've extremely stressed due to real life and family issues (which should not have leaked over) and upset over an unhappy pattern I was starting to notice between my character and another character. It started to feel to me, like the player was attempting to cut my character out of another character's life all together.
I didn't handle it the way I should have, I should have confronted the player and cleared the air with them. But frankly, I was afraid too, I have an terrible habit of folding under any kind of pressure and have a crippling fear of any kind of confrontation or displeasing someone. So I just left it alone and it got progressively worse and worse until finally it started to really leak out, I got jealous and it put a friend in an extremely awkward position which I should have tried to avoid at all costs especially since what I thought was happening was likely just all in my head anyway.
I won't bother trying to rationalise Conan's recent behaviour too much but most of his most recent actions are more because his fear of losing the people he's closest too, in his mind, had started coming true. He lost Ran twice which is why I've been on the fence about resetting him to canon because knowing he'd failed to protect the one person he loves most in the world, especially after they'd sort of started dating would completely break him, which I knew would happen I just wanted to see if I could pull him out of it.
and then things got inexcusably nasty ooc as well as ic and all I can really do is offer this apology and promise I'll never let it get this bad again. However, if none of the parties involved want me talk to them then I will of course not bother them anymore.
unrelated but no icon of conan felt appropriate so have one of Taii instead.
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I didn't handle it the way I should have, I should have confronted the player and cleared the air with them. But frankly, I was afraid too, I have an terrible habit of folding under any kind of pressure and have a crippling fear of any kind of confrontation or displeasing someone. So I just left it alone and it got progressively worse and worse until finally it started to really leak out, I got jealous and it put a friend in an extremely awkward position which I should have tried to avoid at all costs especially since what I thought was happening was likely just all in my head anyway.
I won't bother trying to rationalise Conan's recent behaviour too much but most of his most recent actions are more because his fear of losing the people he's closest too, in his mind, had started coming true. He lost Ran twice which is why I've been on the fence about resetting him to canon because knowing he'd failed to protect the one person he loves most in the world, especially after they'd sort of started dating would completely break him, which I knew would happen I just wanted to see if I could pull him out of it.
and then things got inexcusably nasty ooc as well as ic and all I can really do is offer this apology and promise I'll never let it get this bad again. However, if none of the parties involved want me talk to them then I will of course not bother them anymore.
unrelated but no icon of conan felt appropriate so have one of Taii instead.